Just a BioWare Fan

Rites and Wrongs

After Okeer’s claims that the Krogan coddled the few of their babies that lived through birth I hadn’t expected the rite to be anything particularly dangerous. I hadn’t seen too many wimpy examples but who was I to question the experience of a warlord?

At first, it wasn’t. After telling Urz to stay we went to a blasted circle of ruins raised a few steps above the shattered plains that covered the planet between bombed-out cities. A button on one of the walls produced a portentous voice and a pile of varren, not a one even half as friendly as Urz.

While Grunt and Garrus wiped them out I surreptitiously looted the bodies of what I presumed were failed Krogan that dotted the area. Hey, these were desperate times and we needed the credits…and the weaponry that I piled in a stash to have some crew pick up later. If nothing else we could sell them off-planet. Surely the other Krogan would have claimed them if they were still considered worthy of use on Tuchanka.

Old Friends, New Problems

While we’d been marking time and exploring various systems for resources with which to make the Normandy as strong as she could be, Jacob had been patiently testing and investigating—for weeks—the guns we’d picked up on the Collector ship. He was thorough, I had to give him that. I suppose he didn’t have much else to do since I never took him anywhere.

After we returned to the SR-2 he invited me to the armory to hear the results of his intensive study. Jacob and I played around in the shooting range for a while so that I could get a feel for how each of the new guns handled. Between clips he ran down the specs and how they differed from what we already carried.

Though it looked impressive, the sniper rifle simply couldn't outperform my Viper, the only gun I'd ever wanted to tuck into bed with me like a teddy bear. I love that thing.

Miranda was pacing the CIC when we got back, anxious to head for the planned rendezvous with Niket, the old friend who’d arranged the relocation. The fact that we had a full hour to travel the five hundred feet to our destination mattered nothing to her but I had to eat something or I was going to fall down halfway there. Thane and Jack came with me and I hit up Gardner for a mess of nachos.

I had been kidding, not expecting he'd have the ingredients, but he produced an enormous platter filled with some sort of green chips, beans, and all of the trimmings. I offered to promote him then and there but he declined with a proud smile. “Just keep enjoying my cooking so much and I’m happy right here,” he said.

I did a little spicy dance of thanks and ferried the whole pile over to the table where we fell on them with a will, tasty Elcor cheese flying and sour cream from the milk of who knew what creature decorating the corners of our mouths. Thane said he’d never had them before but that he would again be requesting a plate. I was pleased to introduce him to some Earth cuisine, of a sort, and asked him to have Gardner fix us something Drell enjoyed later.

Ooh, That's Gotta Hurt

“I thought you were dead,” he said, nearly giving me whiplash with the change in tone. “I loved you and you disappeared for two years and now here you are, a goon for Cerberus.” I don’t think I’d ever heard him sound so furious.

“I was dead,” I protested, foolish though I knew it sounded. How convincing could you be, telling the love of your life that you were a reanimated corpse? “And I’m not a goon, I just happen to be working with Cerberus. I…can’t explain right now.” I was mindful of the comm unit in the ear opposite the one that still tingled with Kaidan’s breath. Garrus tried to back me up but Kaidan cut him off with, “I should have known you’d be right there with her, Vakarian.”

What the hell did that mean? Was this for what he had apologized two minutes earlier? Before I could compose a response he turned on his heel and stalked back around the same corner. “I…but…” I said weakly. Grunt was holding Garrus back and staring at me as if to ask why badasses like us would let someone get away with talking to us that way. Obviously there was something more going on here. Yet again I was going to have to suck it up and keep going. I sighed and asked Joker to send the shuttle back down to us. “Fuck it,” I said. “Let’s go home.”

Mordin lived up to his reputation for innovation, thank heavens. The scatterbrain sang me a couple of show tunes while he readied a demonstration and explained things at length. And here I'd thought coffee the only delightfully bad habit that other species had picked up from Humans.

The gist of his solution involved armor and some sort of negation field that made us undetectable to the little bugs. The big ones would see us just fine, but there was only so much he could do with what we’d given him. I ordered the team to bring every piece of armor they owned to the lab. I had one more thing to do before we reached Horizon so I headed down to check on the baby.

He floated in his tank, eyes closed and head down. I recalled what Okeer had said, that this was a perfect specimen of the Krogan species, one who would defeat the genophage by ignoring it. I didn’t know what the hell that was supposed to mean, but I did know that I needed the brute strength and determination on my team. With any luck I wouldn’t have to shoot him and blow him out of the cargo doors. I certainly wasn’t going to let Cerberus have him for a toy.

And Baby Makes Three

Garrus, Jack, and I made our way back to the Normandy, leaving Joker to do whatever it was that he did to get aboard when no one was looking. He must have some secret cloaking abilities because he turned up in his seat without anyone being able to say how or when he arrived. At times I suspected Cerberus had installed a secret passage between the bridge and his bunk. No one wanted to know how he relieved himself considering how rarely he was out of that seat while on duty. I mean, would you ask him how he peed without ever leaving his leather chair? I left calls of nature between him and EDI, hopefully not literally.

I delivered the goodies I’d picked up on the Citadel to muster morale and loyalty among the crew. As I’d be relying on them for the foreseeable future I wanted to make sure they had no reason to distrust me or sabotage my ship. Donnelly in Engineering was excessively grateful, not at all to my surprise, but I let him down as easily as I could while holding down my lunch. Sure, he was attractive, but he came on awfully strong.

While meandering around the bowels of the ship I was reminded of another piece of waste that I’d forgotten: Zaeed still occupied his spot by the trash compactor. As we’d already left dock I resolved to deal with him on our next vaguely-civilized stop. He’d not actually performed any service other than riding around the galaxy and eating my food so I hoped he wouldn’t insist on my completing the agreed mission before he’d leave. I’d hate to have to jettison a cube of bounty hunter regardless of how convenient the machinery to his bunk.